


like the first time

by psharp10



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-01 22:44:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10931574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psharp10/pseuds/psharp10
Summary: When Minseok and Junmyeon sleep together after MAMA 2016 and its aftermath.





	like the first time

**Author's Note:**

> prob not accurate enough as i couldn't find the fan accounts/videos again (read: was a bit too lazy to search properly) but anyhow! enjoy!
> 
> slight foodplay but not enough to tag it, the rating's m bc of the ~sexual tension~ and a frotting scene
> 
> (Prompt #146)

The award shows always end up lasting for far too long. By the time MAMA is finished, most of the group members want to go off to do their own thing, see what restaurants are still open so that they can get their night snacks - maybe just stop by the convenience store, if nothing else. 

 

It’s been almost five years now, they know the drills, and their managers do their best to not micromanage them. Junmyeon, however, still tries to get all the members together for a dinner until Jongdae fixes him with a stare and tiredly mumbles, _hyung, there’s no place that’s going to take nine people who eat enough for twenty one people right now_. It’s not the full thing, it’s not as harsh it could’ve been, and Junmyeon pouts only a bit, understanding Jongdae.

 

“It’s okay,” he replies, one arm around Minseok’s shoulders and the other wrapped around Jongin’s waist. “These two will be with me - if any of you want to join, just text me.”

 

There’s a murmur of _mhmm’_ s and agreements and Junmyeon sighs, leaning a bit on his hyung.

 

“I still have you, right hyung?” Junmyeon asks, making his tone just a bit higher, adding a bit more aegyo with the honorific just for his hyung.

 

Minseok laughs, soft but clear, and nods. “You still have me, Junmyeon-ah, and Jongin too.”

 

At his words, Junmyeon turns to look at Jongin, who’s far too engrossed in his phone.

 

“I think Soojung’s got Jongin all to herself, even now,” Junmyeon teases, poking Jongin’s waist, making him yelp, the phone fumbling in his hands.

 

“Hyung!” Jongin whines, but at the pointed look from both Junmyeon and Minseok, he sends a final message and pockets his phone, shuffling closer in Junmyeon’s embrace.

 

They say their goodbye’s and then leave the hotel, making sure to cover their faces with masks and caps - just in case. Junmyeon takes the othersto a small hole-in-the-wall restaurant that’s only a few minutes walk away from their hotel. There’s still a note saved in his phone, with the address of the restaurant. It had been entered in by an excited Zitao, two years ago, after the MAMA then.

 

Junmyeon lets out a small sigh, his chest suddenly feeling a bit heavier, as they reach closer to the place. Jongin’s arm, that’s looped in his, pulls him closer, the younger snuggling in. Minseok seemingly absentmindedly rubs Junmyeon’s shoulder a bit, and Junmyeon smiles.

 

The weight in his chest lifts a bit. They know him well.

 

“Hello _āyí_ ,” Minseok greets as they enter the small restaurant. They’ve been here multiple times over the past few years, and the owner’s pretty familiar with them by now as she returns their greetings with familiar pats and leads them to a table in the back.

 

They order spicy hot pot and a few bottles of Tsingtao beers - Junmyeon carefully curling his tongue around the Mandarin characters as he mouths them first. The way the owner smiles at him after he finishes his order fills him with warmth and pride, she looks like a mother who’s proud of her son.

 

Jongin on his right giggles when he sees how happy Junmyeon is at receiving the praise, and Minseok, sitting across from them, just grins and leans back, stretching out his legs.

 

“This place really never changes,” Jongin hums as he takes a sip of the beer directly from the bottle. The hot pot’s cooking at medium heat and Junmyeon can feel the slight vibration from Jongin’s legs that impatiently shake for a few seconds every few minutes. “I like that.”

 

Minseok hums in agreement and stirs the meat and vegetables in the hot pot - it’s almost finished cooking. “Want to get some soju after this? I think _āyí_ saved a few bottles for us, at least that’s what I got from the wink when I asked her,” Minseok says, shrugging.

 

Jongin nods eagerly, although his eyes are still following the movement of the spoon in the broth as Minseok cooks the food. Junmyeon smiles, agrees too, and pats Jongin’s knee before he helps Minseok with serving.

 

They eat in a mostly comfortable silence, only broken with a bit of talk here and there, with Minseok and Junmyeon slipping in a few jokes just to see how Jongin ends up laughing at each and everyone of them, cheeks flushed with happiness and the intoxication from the alcohol.

 

Before they leave, they do get the six bottles that the owner had kept aside - _just for you young boys_ , as she had said - and decide to drink it back in their hotel room. It’d be easier that way, if one them did get a bit too drunk (note: most likely Jongin; Junmyeon and Minseok agree on this as they share a smile across the table when Jongin’s giggles dissolve into quiet, breathy laughter as he lays his head down on the table).

 

The bottles clink against each other in the plastic bag as the three walk back to the hotel. Jongin’s just slightly wobbling, leaning heavily on Junmyeon with his arm around Junmyeon’s shoulders. Minseok fondly teases the current maknae, about his lower tolerance, about how he’s so adorably in love with Soojungie. The way Jongin blushes and hides his face in the crook of Junmyeon’s neck - or at least tries to - makes the older two men coo.

 

“Hyung,” Jongin mumbles, to neither of the two in particular, when they stand in the lift. “‘M gonna go to my room, Sehunnie’s waiting prob- probably,” his words are just slightly slurred, “and sleep. Sleep’s waiting too.”

 

Minseok chuckles and nods his head, Junmyeon insists on taking Jongin to the room. His general worry that lingers only dissipates once Sehun and Chanyeol take Jongin into the room. Chanyeol promises to take the best care of Junmyeon’s favorite maknae, side-eyeing Sehun eagerly as he says it just to see the youngest pout and whine until Junmyeon ruffles his hair, says they’re all his favorites.

 

Waiting for their conversation to finish, Minseok leans against the wall in the corridor, watching the maknae trouble the leader with a small smirk on his face.

 

Once the door closes, Junmyeon turns around to face Minseok, and then, Minseok can see all the worries and tensions, the familiar pressure of being a leader that’s become like second nature for Junmyeon, leave Junmyeon's shoulders. What’s left is a cheerful but tired Junmyeon and Minseok pulls him closer with an arm around Junmyeon’s waist, walking along with him to their shared room.

 

The skinship comes much more easily tonight, much more easily after a few bottles of beer and with the already present tiredness that stays after the award night. They sit together on Junmyeon’s bed and open two bottles of soju - one for each - and turn on the television as background noise as they drink.

 

There isn’t much to talk about, and even if there is, they’re both far too tired to have serious, heart-to-heart talks. The television is playing a dubbed version of some Korean drama and when Minseok glances over, he’s barely able to stifle the chuckle at how seriously Junmyeon’s trying to follow the drama along, trying to remember the dialogues that he’s mumbling along to the Mandarin ones.

 

It’s cute, just like almost everything about Junmyeon, and Minseok feels the slightest bit endeared.

 

“Hyung, hyung,” and it’s funny how the honorifics return when Junmyeon’s well on the way to being drunk mid-way through his second soju bottle, “do you remember what she said to him? I think-”

 

Junmyeon pauses halfway, something new is happening on the screen now, his attention diverted again. Minseok giggles at this, it’s easier to let go now. So he lets his hand rest on the back of Junmyeon’s neck, fingers rubbing soft circles, rubbing away any remnants of tension or tiredness from being a leader all this while.

 

He can feel Junmyeon relax and he does the same, his legs sliding down on the bed, adjusting his own position on the mattress so that it’s more comfortable.

 

“Junmyeon-ah,” Minseok calls out, breaking Junmyeon’s attention from the television. Minseok’s breath hitches when Junmyeon turns around, his lips are pink - so so pink - and wet and parted, cheeks flushed and Minseok’s really captivated.

 

“Hyung?” Junmyeon prods, hand resting casually on Minseok’s thigh. He’s tipsy - drunk, really - enough that he can’t dissect, or even notice, the finer points of why Minseok’s not continuing to speak.

 

Minseok shakes his head slightly, breaking out of his trance. “Another bottle?” He asks, raising his own empty green bottle.

 

Junmyeon nods, as eagerly as Jongin had at the mention of soju bottles back at the restaurant before he had gotten tipsy enough just from a few Tsingtao bottles, and stumbles to go get more from the plastic bag. It’s kept on the floor, right next to the bed, so Junmyeon leans over Minseok’s legs to reach into the bag and pull out two more soju bottles.

 

After handing one to his hyung, Junmyeon tries opening his own bottle but his coordination isn’t too good right now, certainly not good enough to be able to open the bottle without spilling the liquid. And that’s what happens, with Junmyeon shaking the bottle a bit too hard and a third of the liquid spills over the bed, over his fingers and his chest and the comforter.

 

Junmyeon pouts and Minseok tuts. Normally he’d be more pressed and frustrated over this, but the soju’s left a good buzz and he’s not too worried. He helps Junmyeon keep the bottles on the bedside table first, and then they move from Junmyeon’s bed onto Minseok’s, but not before Minseok makes Junmyeon remove his shirt and keep it on the other bed, so that they remember that it was dirtied.

 

Minseok doesn’t tell Junmyeon to put on another shirt, figuring Junmyeon would do so, and he climbs onto his own bed, nursing the soju bottle in his hands as the television continues to play another episode of the same drama. But when Junmyeon finally gathers his bearings and gets on the bed, sitting right next to Minseok, he isn’t wearing a new shirt and becomes a lot more touchy. Minseok startles a bit, at the warmth of Junmyeon’s chest against his arm, skin to skin, but he doesn’t bother asking Junmyeon to wear a shirt.

 

The two-thirds full soju bottle remains forgotten on the bedside table as Junmyeon snuggles in closer to Minseok, resting his head on his hyung's shoulder. Junmyeon’s cheeks are warm, his chest even warmer, and the heat bleeds in through Minseok’s thin shirt, warming him up.

 

“Too sleepy, hmm?” Minseok asks, his arm wrapping itself around Junmyeon’s waist as he takes another swig from his bottle and pulls Junmyeon closer too, holds him in place, keeps him next to Minseok.

 

“Mhmm,” Junmyeon replies, barely coherent, “think I drank too much.”

 

Minseok leans down to rest his head against Junmyeon’s, briefly pressing a kiss to Junmyeon’s forehead. “It’s okay, go to sleep Junmyeon-ah.”

 

Junmyeon nods, and Minseok can feel the younger’s slow, soft, small smile against his collarbones. He finishes his own bottle, keeps it down, and shifts so that they can be in a more comfortable position. Junmyeon’s already half asleep and a bit lethargic to move, but Minseok guides him along easily enough with quiet words, quiet touches, and Junmyeon follows him easily enough too.

 

The heating’s on but Junmyeon’s bound to feel colder over the course of the night, and in the morning especially, so Minseok makes sure to get the comforter over both of them properly. He only hesitates for a moment before pulling Junmyeon in closer, and Junmyeon moves on his own too, wraps his arms around Minseok’s waist, fits his leg in between Minseok’s, smushes his face into Minseok’s chest, lips moving absentmindedly, wet and soft. Minseok shivers, a bit, and then gives into the haze from the soju and keeps Junmyeon close.

 

When he turns around just a bit to push the light buttons and turn off the lights, his gaze falls for a moment on the empty soju bottle lying next to the bed. _Cheoeum cheoreom_ , the label reads, and Minseok thinks that this too feels a bit like that, sleeping with Junmyeon like this for the first time.

 

-x-

 

In the morning, Junmyeon wakes up finding himself even closer to Minseok than what he remembers of last night, as he was falling asleep. Before he knows it, before his brain kicks into a functioning state, he leans in and presses a kiss against Minseok’s clothed chest.

 

There’s something really comforting in this, in being wrapped up in Minseok’s arms, the comforter draped over both of them, almost cocooned in the warmth. And Junmyeon really, _really_ doesn’t feel like moving, doesn’t feel like facing the world right now, putting back his leader role and acting his part in the group.

 

With Minseok, things are simultaneously easier and harder. They’re easier because with Minseok, he doesn’t need to always be the responsible hyung, he can rely a bit more easily on the older. But things are harder too, because it’s so so _so_ easy to love Minseok and Junmyeon barely remembers to move away from the edge each time he nears it. And now, in Minseok’s embrace, he feels like he’s just a step away from falling in too deep.

 

Just as Junmyeon’s considering moving away, getting up and taking a shower, Minseok wakes up. It’s cute, his hyung is cute, Junmyeon decides, as he watches Minseok slowly rub the grogginess out of his eyes. Junmyeon scrunches at the morning breath when Minseok yawns, but doesn’t move away.

 

“Your breath stinks, Minseok,” he whispers, almost afraid to raise his voice, in case it breaks whatever they have right now.

 

Minseok grins, snorts a bit. “No hyung? Do your manners only come out when you’re drunk, Junmyeonnie?”

 

And Junmyeon tries not to think too much about how the endearment makes his pulse quicken, tries not to feel too much. “Minseokkie hyung,” he replies, focusing on their soft banter instead.

 

“Brat,” Minseok says, sounding so fond and it makes Junmyeon’s heart flop around a bit inside his chest. “If only the other members knew about how much of a brat you actually are,” Minseok whispers, and shifts so that he can be more face to face with Junmyeon, can nose along his nape, softly drag his lips over the warm warm skin.

 

Junmyeon’s heart stutters and he tries to collect himself. “Should we get up?”

 

“Your morning breath is no better, Junmyeon-ah,” Minseok says, instead of replying to Junmyeon’s question, and Junmyeon takes that as an answer anyway, takes it as that they can be like this, lie in each other’s arms, for a few more minutes, if not more, at least.

 

-x-

 

Their morning routine doesn’t really change after they finally get up - _we have to, hyung, it’s already almost 8_ , Junmyeon says - and begin to get ready. They stand next to each other, brushing teeth, and it’s calm, comforting in its own way. Junmyeon leans a bit on Minseok, and Minseok leans back, as they brush.

 

Junmyeon’s the first to take a shower - _you wouldn’t clean up this room on your own anyway, Junmyeon-ah_ is what Minseok says to reason, to which Junmyeon replies with an indignant groan that dies down when Minseok raises an eyebrow, challenging Junmyeon to refute his words.

 

By the time Junmyeon comes out, Minseok’s mostly cleaned up the room, with all the mess they made last night. Minseok’s gaze flicks over to Junmyeon’s abs just for a moment when he turns to look at him and Junmyeon shivers, although it is perfectly warm in the room.

 

“Are you-” Junmyeon’s voice cracks and the tips of his ears flare red, he can feel the heat crawling up his neck and cheeks, so he clears his throat and tries again. “Are you going to shower now?”

 

Minseok hums, licking his bottom lip, and Junmyeon can’t draw his eyes away from the movement. He catches himself right before he blatantly starts ogling Minseok even more, and shuffles over to his suitcase, one hand tightly holding onto the towel wrapped around his waist, his mind mostly whispering “ _don’t get hard_ ” over and over again.

 

As Minseok moves across the room to go the bathroom, Junmyeon leans down and pulls out a clean pair of boxers. He drops his towel - feeling strangely confident in this way - and pulls on his boxers. And just as he’s pulled the waistband over his ass, he feels Minseok’s hand pat his ass, twice.

 

He freezes only for a second, before turning to whine and pout at his hyung, who just laughs and teases Junmyeon with a wink and a reminder to call him hyung.

 

-x-

 

Things after that night don’t change as much as Junmyeon expects them to. They still tell each other jokes, mostly only being the two who laugh at each other’s jokes unless Jongin’s really tickled by the joke or unless Sehun wants to please his hyungs too, and they still lean on each other sometimes, tease each other from time to time - with Junmyeon purposefully dropping the hyung at times, only to have Minseok poke him and make Junmyeon call him “hyung.”

 

They also have their schedules, that seem unending as always, so it’s not like they have an abundance of bonding time. Junmyeon regrets it a bit, but tries not to think much of it.

 

Not until it all comes out during one of their fanmeets.

 

“Ah, yes, Xiumin, Kai and I went out drinking after MAMA,” Junmyeon recounts to the fans, smiling brightly as he pokes Jongin’s side, who’s already silently laughing.

 

“Actually,” Minseok interjects, and there’s this smile on his face that makes Junmyeon just a tad bit worried, “Junmyeon and I slept together for the first time that night.”

 

The whole crowd erupts into cheers and squeals and Junmyeon can’t hold himself back, his cheeks colouring, and laughter - from embarrassment? from just the rush of overwhelming emotions? - takes over as he squats down. His laughter sounds high in the mic but all he can feel is his ears and cheeks heating up, all he can think of his how they had cuddled with each other underneath the blanket that night.

 

“Really?” He can see Jongin mouth at him, and he nods, subtly, as the fanmeet continues after that.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Junmyeon can see Minseok ever so often looking in his direction and smirking. He can also see Jongdae with his raised eyebrows and knowing gaze fixed on him for quite a while, a smile on his face that says far too much and leaves Junmyeon feeling a bit naked, figuratively, emotionally. Jongdae’s always been able to read him easily.

 

The conversation moves on after that, and they don’t get to talk about it again, although the members do jeer and tease around a bit as they move from one schedule to other, until they’re finally back to their dorms after practice.

 

Even during the practice, Junmyeon had felt like perhaps the change was finally coming around. It was Minseok who had initiated it after all, hanging around Junmyeon more often, casually touching his arm, or draping his own arm over Junmyeon’s shoulder, uncaring of their sweaty bodies pressing against each other.

 

He’s there teasing Junmyeon, softly, gently, and handing him water - and it’s all normal, it’s all usual, but there’s still something _different_ about this.

 

Junmyeon had thought that maybe Minseok had just moved on past their night together, but he reconsiders his thoughts on the drive back after the practice is finished.

 

In the dorm, the members shuffle in one by one, some going to shower in pairs, others filing into the kitchen to get something to drink and eat, and others yet, going back to their room.

 

Junmyeon’s lost in his thoughts, but a hand on his shoulder brings him out of them, and he turns his face, only to find his cheek being poked by Minseok’s finger. It’s ridiculously childish - _no_ , _child-like_ , Junmyeon thinks - but he can’t stop the exasperated-but-not-really smile from spreading across his face. It’s ridiculous, but equally endearing.

 

“Hyung,” Junmyeon deadpans, after schooling his face into a more serious expression. “How old are you hyung? Can I speak in banmal with you then?”

 

Minseok snorts, gently cupping Junmyeon’s cheek now. “Don’t get too ahead of yourself Junmyeon-ah.”

 

“But, _hyung_ ,” Junmyeon says, pouting and resting his chin on Minseok’s shoulders. “I’m basically a ‘90-liner, aren’t I?”

 

“Basically, but not completely,” Minseok replies, pinching Junmyeon’s nose between his two fingers until Junmyeon whines and Minseok pulls back, ruffling his hair.

 

“Will you two keep on flirting here or can I get to my room?” It’s Jongdae’s voice that breaks through the bubble that Junmyeon and Minseok are in.

 

Minseok startles and pulls back a bit, Junmyeon startles more and blushes, cursing a bit when he stubs his toe. Jongdae laughs at Junmyeon’s misery, and Junmyeon scowls at Jongdae's snark.

 

“Come on,” Jongdae says, draping his arm over Junmyeon’s shoulder, almost a touch possessively - but he has a girlfriend, so nothing like that, Junmyeon reassures himself. “I’m gonna take Junmyeon hyung with me, Minseok hyung.”

 

He leaves with a wink and Junmyeon in tow, and leaves behind a still startled Minseok, who just raises his eyebrow at the scene.

 

-x-

 

It almost feels like a game in between them starts after that. Junmyeon doesn’t know whether he’s started it or if Minseok has, or if it just somehow started on its own. It just so happens - Junmyeon drops the honorific around Minseok, and Minseok retaliates at those times with slapping his ass or poking him in the side.

 

It’s a game just to see who can get the other riled up and Minseok plays dirty. Junmyeon, at first, only plays around with the honorifics, eyes curling into half-moons when he notices Minseok’s reaction. But then Minseok takes it to another level when he begins, what Junmyeon can frankly only call, flirting with Junmyeon.

 

It starts during their dance practices at first, with Minseok’s gaze burning into Junmyeon, making him feel like he’s coming undone although they’ve done nothing except look at each through the mirror. It’s partly reminiscent of their performance for Playboy, the subtle flirting that had found its way on stage with each touch, each time they moved close to each other.

 

At that time, Junmyeon had filed it away as simple fanservice, trying not to think too much about how he wanted Minseok to follow through even more, wanted Minseok to actually kiss him when Junmyeon had his arms around his hyung’s waist and neck, grinning as he acted as if he was going to kiss Minseok.

 

“Get yourself together,” Junmyeon whispers to himself, flipping over onto his stomach on the bed. He smushes his face into the pillow and shakes his head.

 

For a moment, his thoughts flick back to _that_ night, and for a moment, he wonders what it would be like if it was Minseok whom he was cuddling right now, not his blanket and a spare pillow.

 

“Ugh,” Junmyeon groans, shifting around on the bed impatiently, but trying not to cause too much of a disturbance - Sehun’s still asleep beside him. “Kim Junmyeon, what are you doing?”

 

Sleep doesn’t come to him for another thirty minutes, as his mind keeps on going through all the memories he has with Minseok - a montage of sorts - and Junmyeon whines at himself, at his brain, really, _when did you even get the time to put this together_ , and most importantly, _why now?_

 

But Junmyeon knows the answers to both the questions. Even if he tries to act nonchalant and indifferent, he knows the answers, but he just can’t bring himself to admit and acknowledge them. That would mean that he was acknowledging his feelings, and perhaps Minseok’s too - if Minseok wasn’t just doing all the flirting out of fun and fanservice.

 

-x-

 

“Junmyeon-ah,” Minseok calls out to the younger from the kitchen. Today, it’s only the two of them in the dorms. Today, it feels a bit _different_.

 

Junmyeon comes a minute later, slowly shuffling into the kitchen, yawning and stretching his arms out to get the sleep out of his system. They’d had a rare day off, with no group or unit or individual schedules for most of the members. Half had gone to visit their families, and the other half, save for the two eldest, had gone out for paintball and bowling.

 

Junmyeon had opted to sleep in and Minseok had claimed that he wanted to spend time with Tan today, rather than go out.

 

“Here.” Minseok takes a piece of watermelon in his fingers and presses it against Junmyeon's lips until Junmyeon opens up his mouth and lets Minseok feed him the fruit.

 

There’s a game in this too, Junmyeon thinks, as he purposefully wraps his lips around Minseok’s fingers, sucks on them just a bit, before pulling back with the fruit in his mouth.

 

“Sweet,” Junmyeon says. _Sweet_ , in more than one way.

 

Minseok’s eyes darken, and he reaches down, taking another piece of watermelon, this time for himself. His eyes remain on Junmyeon’s as he slowly brings the piece up to his lips, delaying it just enough to get some of the sticky juice dripping over his fingers, before eating it.

 

He smirks, as he sees Junmyeon swallow nervously at the sight. “You’re right, it is sweet. Another?”

 

Junmyeon nods, and Minseok brings up another piece to feed him, reaching down with his clean hand to hook his fingers onto the waistband of Junmyeon’s sweatpants to pull him closer. And Junmyeon doesn’t know whether he should focus on the feeling of Minseok’s fingers being so near his crotch, just teasing at his hip bones, or whether he should pay attention to Minseok’s gaze, his fingers holding the fruit to Junmyeon's lips, as he feeds Junmyeon the watermelon.

 

This time, Minseok doesn’t give him the time or pleasure of getting a chance to suck his fingers. Instead, he pulls them back in almost a teasing manner, barely letting his fingers touch Junmyeon’s lips. Junmyeon tries his best to hold back his whine at the lack of touch, at the teasing, until Minseok trails his sticky sticky fingers over Junmyeon’s jaw, and then down the length of his neck.

 

Junmyeon tips his head back, baring his neck, almost involuntarily, and Minseok gasps, barely audible, but Junmyeon hears it anyway, feels his dick twitch at that and at the way Minseok’s fingers tease and trail over Junmyeon’s skin.

 

“ _Minseok_ ,” Junmyeon whines, whimpers, breathes out. Minseok’s fingers trace over Junmyeon’s adam’s apple that nervously bobs as Junmyeon swallows. His other hand shifts, moving from the side to right in the middle, right above Junmyeon’s crotch, still hooked on the waistband. “Hyung,” Junmyeon follows it up, understands Minseok’s intentions, his almost instructions.

 

Junmyeon feels his dick twitch, and he curses inwardly, he shouldn’t have gone commando today. It isn’t hard to pull on a pair of boxers anyway, he shouldn’t be lazy with this too. Not when Minseok’s around and it’s dangerous because Junmyeon’s dick becomes far too responsive to any and all of Minseok’s touches.

 

His hips move on their own accord after that, when Minseok leans closer, his breath warm against Junmyeon’s bared neck, and licks a long stripe right over where he had spread the watermelon’s juice over Junmyeon’s skin.

 

Junmyeon feels like his breath is too laboured, his pants too audible, when Minseok looks so completely in control ( _he is_ ) as he licks up Junmyeon’s neck, teasing with small nips at Junmyeon’s jaw.

 

“Can’t leave you dirty,” Minseok whispers, “can’t have you be more messy than you already are, Junmyeonnie.”

 

And Junmyeon doesn’t hold back - he whimpers at the endearment, lets his hips rock forward, his erection brushing against Minseok’s half-hard dick. Junmyeon still feels some amount of victory course through him at the feeling of Minseok’s bulge - he’s as affected by Junmyeon, it’s not a one-way thing. Even though Junmyeon never really doubted it that much, it’s always nice to get some confirmation.

 

Their lips don’t really touch, they don’t really kiss - it just doesn’t happen, maybe they’re too afraid. Their lips brush against each other’s once, just slightly, and then Junmyeon moans, Minseok’s hands sliding inside his sweatpants finally, _finally_ , and he turns his head so that he can rest his forehead on Minseok’s shoulder as he ruts against Minseok. The older’s cupping his ass, hands massaging and guiding, making Junmyeon’s hips roll just right, so that their clothed erections brush just right, and the friction feels so good, barely there, but still so overwhelming.

 

“ _Junmyeonnie_ ,” Minseok moans, and Junmyeon shivers, Minseok’s voice sounds downright sinful. Minseok pulls him closer, as if that’s even possible, ruts even more desperately because they’re so close, so close already. Half of it’s the tension, the attraction, and the other half’s the actual rutting, the actual friction.

 

“Hy- _hyung_ ,” Junmyeon’s voice cracks, wavers, as he responds, breaks down because of Minseok’s touch, his gaze. “You’re so much, fuck, hyung, I’m-”

 

Minseok turns them around, makes Junmyeon lean against the kitchen counter instead, the edge of it digging into Junmyeon’s lower back. Minseok's hands rest on the counter now, lips back to leaving wet, wet kisses all over Junmyeon’s neck, collarbone, as he grinds against Junmyeon, whispers into the skin, brings Junmyeon closer to the edge.

 

And Minseok’s beautiful like this, Junmyeon thinks through the haze, sees through his glazed over eyes. His shirt’s low cut, and the v-neck reveals the flush spreading over Minseok’s chest. His lips are red, parted, still over Junmyeon’s skin, pulling back only to tease Junmyeon as Minseok bites down on them and Junmyeon’s eyes can’t look away from his lips.

 

His eyes are the worst - the _best_ \- they say too much and not enough. Junmyeon can feel the _want_ but he can’t feel anything more, he can see the lust, feel it thrumming under his skin as Minseok touches him, but he still doesn’t know if his hyung wants anything more.

 

Every time Junmyeon thinks that he’s finally understanding Minseok more, breaking through the walls that Minseok naturally has set up, he realizes that there’s always a new one in front.

 

“So beautiful,” Minseok whispers, and Junmyeon breaks down a bit more, feels his thighs quiver and his hands grip onto Minseok’s arms, for support, for something _more_.

 

“Hyung-”

 

“My Junmyeonnie.”

 

And fuck, fuck, _fuck_ , the possessiveness in Minseok’s voice wrecks Junmyeon, tips him over, makes him come in his sweatpants like a teenager. He squeezes his eyes shut, hides his face in the crook of Minseok’s neck as his face burns and his sweatpants become wet and sticky.

 

The lust is still heady, and Minseok’s still grinding though, still chasing after his own orgasm, and for a moment, just a moment, Junmyeon wishes he had the courage to kiss his hyung. Instead, he runs his hands through Minseok’s hair, tangles his fingers in the strands and pulls, on a whim, gasps when he hears Minseok’s responding groan.

 

“Hyung, hyung, come for me,” Junmyeon pants, grazing his teeth over Minseok’s earlobe, “ _ge_ -”

 

And it’s that, the word that holds too many meanings, too many memories, too many connotations for them, that pulls Minseok over, shaking and moaning low, so low, as he too comes in his shorts, sticky and messy. They stand together, still too close, still too unwilling to let the other go and put distance between them, out of breath and shaking like teenagers, desperate and too in l-

 

“Hyung,” Junmyeon speaks up, voice rough, raspy, interrupting his thoughts before they can go some place he doesn’t want to think about right now. “We should- we should clean up before the others come back.”

 

Minseok nods in reply, licking his lips, almost uncertain. “Yeah,” he replies, smiles and Junmyeon’s heart feels like it’s about to burst, “we should.”

 

-x-

 

Things _should_ change, Junmyeon thinks, reassures himself almost. After that, how can they not?

 

But maybe it’s just that their cowardice is too strong, the threat looming over the careers too big. They’ve all had hidden relationships before, they all know what it’s like, and it’s sometimes better to have relationships within the industry, because then the partners know how things work, how to keep everything under wraps.

 

Neither Junmyeon nor Minseok have anything against homosexuality or homosexuals - if their actions don’t speak loud enough, their words at least confirm them whenever they have talks about certain issues. So Junmyeon wonders about how nothing changes after that day.

 

Their skinship still continues, Minseok still drapes himself over Junmyeon from time to time, indulges Junmyeon when Junmyeon’s too tired from his leader responsibilities - gives the _best_ massages really, magic fingers - but nothing _more_ happens.

 

Part of it, Junmyeon admits, is his own fault, his own cowardice. It’s because the words get stuck in his throat too, and he can never put together enough courage to push them out of his mouth, past his lips, just so he can hear Minseok’s reply, which he already knows, but neither of them admit to.

 

-x-

 

“Hyung,” Jongdae speaks up, massaging the back of Junmyeon’s neck with one hand. “You really need to talk to Minseok hyung - either you or him need to take the first step. This is getting a bit old now, you guys are the _hyungs_ you know?”

 

Junmyeon whines, shoulders trying to curl in forwards but Jongdae’s hands are faster, they don’t let Junmyeon hide away again.

 

“I don’t want to resort to using Lu Han hyung’s methods that he’s suggesting to me,” Jongdae says, and Junmyeon’s a bit tempted - just a bit - to ask what Lu Han’s suggested, but he doesn’t. “So go and confess, so that you can finally ride his dick like you want to.”

 

Junmyeon splutters, choking on air at Jongdae’s straightforwardness.

 

“How can you say that so casually, Jongdae-yah?” Junmyeon asks, once his coughing has subsided. His cheeks remain flushed though, and Jongdae flicks at the red tip of Junmyeon’s ear.

 

“Come on, don’t act like a prude, hyung,” Jongdae says, and Junmyeon can hear the grin in his voice. “It’s not like you.”

 

-x-

 

It happens over five shared bottles of soju and dinner, samgyupsal, that Minseok and Junmyeon also share, sitting across from each other in another hole-in-the-wall restaurant that they frequently visit.

 

Junmyeon’s cheeks are flushed and he’s feeling a bit tipsy, but still determined.

 

“Minseok,” he begins, because someone has to.

 

“Hyung," Minseok corrects first, and then continues. "You’re so cute, Junmyeon-ah,” he murmurs, hand cupping Junmyeon’s cheek, and Junmyeon flusters - how does Minseok always catch him off guard like this?

 

“ _Hyung_ ,” Junmyeon pouts, looks at Minseok until he smiles back, genuine and all ears, “I-” The words can’t stuck in his throat, not again, not this time, Junmyeon reminds himself. “I like you.”

 

“Really?” Minseok asks, raising an eyebrow, a smirk itching at his lips and he’s teasing Junmyeon again.

 

“Just kiss me, will you?” Junmyeon asks, frustration and too much love mixing into a mess of emotions.

 

“Not here, Junmyeonnie,” Minseok replies, but his eyes darken and his thumb brushes over Junmyeon’s bottom lip, “but back home.”

 

Junmyeon feels his skin thrum with lust, love, want, at the promise, and he really can’t wait - he’s never been the most patient at times and in situations like these.

 

“I like you too,” Minseok says, after they split the bill and after he finishes the last bit of drink left in the soju bottle with another half shot.

 

 _Cheoeum cheoreum_ , the green soju bottle reads, and Junmyeon finds himself agreeing with it. It’s like the first time with Minseok, the overwhelming feelings, the heady rush of lust, the giddiness from just being around Minseok. It’s like his first love, his first crush, but not really. The feelings are there but Junmyeon feels more ready, more prepared to take this on.

  
They have more to worry about with keeping their relationship hidden, with their careers, their family, but Junmyeon feels ready, feels so in love, especially when Minseok links his pinky with Junmyeon’s and pulls him along, laughing as the cool wind brushes over their faces on their walk back home.

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i didn't porn properly even once in this fic  
> who am i


End file.
